Kings and Queens
by asteriskjam
Summary: When Konoha’s Kunoichi Preparatory and Shinobi Academy merge, the four commanding ‘monarchs’ of either school struggle for reign, spectacularly clash, and inexplicably find the enemy attractive. -SasuSaku- -NaruHina- -ShikaIno- -NejiTen-
1. we are all but players

**Kings and Queens  
By: asteriskjam**

A/N: I was reading this one manga about these girl friends and I thought, hey, I'd like to write about girl best friends. Naturally, I picked the Konoha girls. This had initially been something of a character study and experimentation with group dynamics (I love quirky gangs and all that) but it somehow...evolved. Into something with an actual plot. I'm not even sure if this will be updated (I'm awfully horrible about chapter fanfiction) but you know what? I'm not writing this for anyone other than myself so that should just be ok.

WARNING: Un-beta-ed and hardly edited (at least I didn't anally go over it multiple times, like I usually do). Am feeling totally unapologetic about it, too. :)

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_the world's a stage and we are all but players_

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"Math notes, math notes. Who needed them?"

"We all did, Forehead."

"…Not a very nice way to ask, Pig."

"Please. Forehead. _Please_."

"…Let's not fight, guys…"

"Not again, please."

"Math notes for Hinata-chan! Math notes for Tenten-chan! Math notes for…huh? I seem to have made an extra set of math notes! Hm. I could've sworn these were for somebody _grateful_. But I don't see anyone else here, fitting that description…"

"I swear, Sakura, you can be such a pain in the ass!"

"Hm? Still not one word of recognition? I guess I'll just toss these then."

"…Sakura-chan, don't—"

"Ugh, Ino, Sakura. Please don't make a scene."

"Hey! What the hell! After I gave you that manicure on Saturday!"

"Still not a nice way of asking!"

"…I'll use the apple green polish next time!"

"…with the white tips?"

"…Sure."

"…Here."

"Whew. Crisis averted."

"What can I say? My manicures are the greatest this school has ever seen. They could probably end wars, if, you know, the presidents of countries were into that sort of thing."

"…Probably."

"By the way, Tenten, this coming sleepover, what kind of nails would you like?"

"The same. As always."

"Clear? Again? Sure you don't want some color?"

"You know I'm not really into all this in the first place, Ino. And if I were, the polish would probably chip horribly after one judo practice."

"She likes the clear, 'cause it hardens your nails, right, Ten?"

"Yup."

"SIGH. What about you, Hinata?

"…Mmm, you don't have to, Ino-chan."

"Oh, come on, Hina! We've been doing this for years!"

"If she didn't do our nails every other weekend, she'd probably spontaneously combust."

"Funny, Tenten."

"I try."

"Oh, what about animals? Ino, you could do animals right? That would be cute, huh, Hinata? She could do tiny bunnies or something."

"…!"

"She likes it."

"After the sleepover, you guys are all coming to my softball game, right? It's against Sunagakure!"

"Yeah, wouldn't miss it!"

"…Un!"

"Ten, you better kick their asses! That stupid Temari girl's been totally getting on my nerves lately."

"I'll dedicate a home run to your rivalry."

"…Oh hey, look, test scores!"

"Mmm, our Sakura-chan's number one again, huh?"

"That forehead had to have some kind of advantage."

"Quiet, Pig, I still have English notes."

"…Mou, Tenten-chan scored number seven."

"And you got number 11, Hinata!"

"I got 21. Hmm, I guess to make up for my outrageously good looks, God blessed me with only an above average brain."

"…I swear, Pig. What goes on in that head of yours…"

"Enough you two. Class starts in like two minutes."

As the four girls continued to chat about this and that, they easily overlooked the awed glances and the quick gossip that surrounded them as they passed.

There went the rulers of Konoha's Kunoichi Preparatory for Girls. (Appropriately, nicknamed 'The Queens.')

The foursome of girls that had the school at their beck and call. The quartet of young women who controlled every going-on whether they knew so or not.

Each individual was strong and capable, sure, but their mismatched personalities made for a distinct and rather sturdy friendship.

They had an odd group dynamic.

Haruno Sakura. Book smart, but could be rather oblivious. Defensive and righteous and stubborn. Bit of a short fuse. Also, sarcastic. And cheerful. _Really_ cheerful. _**Extremely**_ cheerful, almost to the point where it was annoying.

Hyuuga Hinata. Very sweet and often, naïve. A huge animal lover. A pacifist, if she could help it. Prayed for non-confrontation. Found it hard to say 'no'. And painfully, painfully, **painfully** shy.

Yamanaka Ino. Gorgeous and Ditsy. Vibrant and a little bit shallow. Loved life and basking in attention. Go-getter. Very loud too. Sometimes, _so_ _loud_, you wished someone would just put a lock on her mouth and tragically misplace the key.

Tenten. Tomboy. Liked physical activity and moving all the time. **Simplistic**. Didn't like overly complicated things. Friendly type. Didn't pay much attention to trends and the like. Ever.

But at Konoha's Kunoichi Preparatory, they were probably the females that garnered the most attention.

Sakura was the 'smart one.'

Not that they all weren't intelligent. The four girls excelled in a number of subjects. Hinata was particularly fantastic at English, Ino was (surprisingly) adept in Chemistry, Tenten was a History Whiz. But Sakura was most literally the 'brain'—a full Advanced Placement course load, full marks, and generous loads of teacher recognition.

Hinata was the 'kind one.'

Not that they weren't all nice. The four girls were actually rather sweet for teenagers their age. Sakura liked helping at the hospital in whatever time she could spare. Ino was really into tending to flowers and the whole 'Save the Earth' movement. Tenten enjoyed meeting new people in general. But Hinata was the real 'sweetheart'—everything; children, pets, pedestrians, the elderly, tended to flock to her because of her innately gentle aura.

Ino was the 'pretty one.'

Not that they weren't all beautiful. The four girls probably made up one of the more attractive cliques in the entire school. Sakura was quite an exotic kind of beauty with her bubblegum locks and her teal eyes. Hinata had a cutesy, girly sense of style, with her long dark hair and timid clear orbs. Tenten owned the understated, natural look with her clean, neatly pinned brown locks and auburn eyes. But Ino was the serious 'charmer'—silky blonde tresses and lightning blue irises; smooth plains of pale skin and a 'va-va-voom' figure.

Tenten was the 'sporty one'.

Not that they weren't all active. The four girls happened to be particularly vigorous. Sakura was co-captain of the tennis team. Hinata enjoyed swimming and placed in competition. Ino loved any form of dance, from jazz to hiphop to ballet. But Tenten was the true 'athlete'—she had endless reserves of energy and worked out often; with her speed, strength, and excellent hand-eye coordination, she easily did well in nearly every sport.

It was because of their individual strengths that they _ruled_ Konoha's Kunoichi Preparatory, whether they meant to or not. Sakura controlled anything intellectual. Ino took over anything social. Tenten was in charge of anything athletic. And Hinata, in all her gentleness, made the rest of the student body comply; made them feel as if the four of them _deserved_ all this power.

It was kind of hard to grasp.

They were just so…different. If you had observed them apart, you would have probably thought them closer to being enemies than friends.

And you would be dead wrong.

Because if there was one thing that this group of four diverse, amazing, up-standing young women had in common, it was that they were extremely protective of one another.

They had grown up together. They saw each other through the good times and bad, through the thick and thin. They considered each other sisters.

And there was nothing, absolutely nothing that could break their bond.

Hopefully.

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"That fucking hurt, bastard!"

"Well, you weren't fucking shutting up, dobe."

"Quit using that vulgar language, or I swear I'll kill the both of you."

"…So troublesome."

"It was the bastard's fault, Neji!!! I was just commenting about how that girl's skirt was riding all the way up—"

"Shut it, dobe."

"Shut it, Naruto."

"Shut it. Please."

"WHY DON'T YOU GUYS SHUT IT!"

"…"

"—OUCH!"

"Anyway, Shikamaru. Math notes?"

"…Yeah, yeah. They're right here. I swear, if you guys weren't who you were, I'd have killed you for making me do this troublesome thing."

"Right."

"I couldn't do the notes, Shikamaru! Obviously! You were there! At my soccer match! I had practice for like the whole week!"

"…I wasn't there. I was at home, sleeping."

"WHAT?"

"Be quiet, dobe."

"You probably wouldn't have done the notes either way, Naruto."

"I so would have! I swear, I'm getting this!"

"…Sure."

"Anyway, we…appreciate this, Shikamaru. I had familial duties the entire weekend."

"Hn. …Itachi came over."

"…Let me guess, you spent the entire weekend trying to best him in anything."

"…that fucking bastard refuses to be defeated."

"Language, Uchiha."

"HAHAHAHA."

"Do you want to die, Naruto?"

"…no more fighting. God, so troublesome."

"You'll beat him eventually, bastard. Maybe in level of jerk-ness. You're the biggest asshole I know!"

"…I'll kill you--!"

"Quit it the both of you! Naruto, Sasuke you guys got us in trouble enough for this month, hell, enough for this lifetime. If you both don't stop, I swear I'll _make_ you stop."

"…You guys are too loud. Giving me a headache. Shut up, or I swear, I'm ripping these English notes."

"…"

"Let's just get to class."

"We're still going to that concert this Friday, right?"

"Yeah, whatever. I've got the tickets. Yours will be going in the trash, dobe."

"BASTARD!"

"…Troublesome."

As the four guys continued to bicker about whatever it was, they effortlessly ignored the intimidated looks and the fast whispers that enveloped them as they walked through.

There went the rulers of Konoha's Shinobi Academy for Boys. (Appropriately nicknamed 'The Kings.')

The foursome of boys that directed the school with an iron fist. The quartet of young men who ran every facet of the educational facility whether they meant to or not.

Each individual was competent and talented sure, but the discrepancies in character made for a diverse and rather durable friendship.

They had a peculiar group dynamic.

Uchiha Sasuke. Extremely attractive, but wasn't all that cocky about it. Well rounded in the academic and athletic area, if he wanted to be. Hard-headed and a little bitter. Not very social, preferred to brood. **Alone**. Personality of a rattlesnake.

Uzumaki Naruto. Boisterous and rather, tactless. Said whatever was on his mind. Honest and always bursting with energy. Had a knack for trouble-making. And really, very, extremely, _**loud**_.

Nara Shikamaru. Quiet genius. Smart about things like strategy. Liked Shogi, cloud-watching, and sleeping. Thought the world to be **troublesome**. Lazy to the point where he could lie in his bed or on the couch or in the grass for days if undisturbed.

Hyuuga Neji. Orderly. Clean, well-managed image. Polite to a fault. Stickler for rules and a bit of a tight ass. Didn't enjoy 'letting loose'. Could be kind of boring, actually. Needed to get out more. _Desperately_.

But at Konoha's Shinobi Academy, they were probably the males that acquired the most notice.

Sasuke was the 'hot one.'

Not that they all weren't good-looking. The four guys were probably the most striking bunch in the whole school. Naruto had boyish good looks with his bright blond spikes and cerulean eyes. Shikamaru was all sharp features, quick dark eyes and black hair pulled back in an effective ponytail. Neji's features were a little on the effeminate side with his long, clean chestnut locks and pearl irises. But Sasuke was the literal 'Adonis'—healthy black-blue locks, bangs sweeping over smoldering charcoal eyes; pale skin drawn over the taut muscle of a perfect physique.

Naruto was the 'lively one.'

Not that they weren't all vigorous. The four guys were involved in a lot of extra activities. Sasuke was co-captain on the track team. Shikamaru (surprisingly) proved to be a pretty good archer. Neji was a born kendo star. But Naruto was the real 'competitor'—he had stores of energy that people could only wonder about and whatever he lacked in technique, he easily made up for in determination and stamina.

Shikamaru was the 'sharp one.'

Not that they weren't all bright. The four guys surpassed several in the certain classes they were interested in. Sasuke was particularly brilliant in the physical sciences. Naruto did rather well in trade subjects like shop and drafting (amazingly). Neji spoke several foreign languages. But Shikamaru was the serious 'genius'—without even meaning to, he could store volumes upon volumes of information in his brain and could analyze said information in a matter of seconds.

Neji was the 'well-mannered one'.

Not that they weren't all decent. The four guys happened to be rather respectable for boys their age (in spite of their constant fighting, of course). Sasuke was pretty generous with children and chose to spend his required community service hours at orphanages. Naruto was extremely righteous in an almost literal way for he defended weaker students from bullies, saved cats from trees, etc. Shikamaru had been taught from an early age, the importance of chivalry. But Neji was the true 'mediator'—he had a calm, reserved composure and though he was strict, he was also rather approachable.

It was because of their distinct aptitudes that they _ruled_ Konoha's Shinobi Academy, whether they knew so or not. Sasuke (ironically) controlled anything societal. Shikamaru took over anything remotely educational. Naruto was in charge of anything in the sports department. And Neji, in all his rigidity, made the rest of the student body conform; made them feel as if the four of them _merited _all this authority.

It was a little hard to take in.

They were just so…different. If you had observed them apart, you would have probably thought them closer to being enemies than friends.

And you would be dead wrong.

Because if there was one thing that this group of four dissimilar, extraordinary, highly regarded young men had in common, it was that they were extremely defensive of one another.

They had grown up together. They saw each other through the good times and bad, through the thick and thin. They considered each other brothers.

And there was nothing, absolutely nothing that could break their bond.

Hopefully.

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"So it's settled then."

"…Are you sure you want to do this?"

"It's not like I really have a choice, do I? I foolishly gambled away my building."

"You've never been a good gambler."

"Shut up. I know that. I just can't believe I have to give my girls up to you, the hugest, shittiest pervert on the face of this planet."

"…What do you mean, give them up? You'll still be there as my vice."

"…I want co."

"I'm guessing you're not 'Beggars can't be choosers' kind of person."

"I'd like equality. They're both our kids and I want the same authority. Besides, you still owe me for jam I bailed you out of last year. Take it or leave it."

"Fine. FINE. But I'd like for the girls to wear this uniform I drew up!"

"…You are such a god damn pervert!"

After a rousing session of drunk Tsunade pummeling her old friend (and major perv) Jiraiya into the ground, the principal of Kunoichi Preparatory and the principal of Shinobi Academy signed a contract to merge both schools to form Konoha's Ninja Institute.

With their pens, the two commanding officers, unknowingly sealed the fate of eight distinct individuals and engraved the promise of an all-out battle of the sexes, in stone.

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A/N: HUZZAH. To be continued...or not. XD


	2. the titans almost beat each other up

**Kings and Queens  
By: asteriskjam**

A/N: I'm extremely surprised with how many reviews I received in such a short amount of time! AH, it's just so great, how much support this story is getting even though i wrote in on a whim. It urged me to write the next chapter. I'm also equally surprised to find how much I actually enjoy putting this story together--since it's totally for myself, I don't have to worry about people whining about OOCness or reviewers thinking this part to be a little awkward. I can manipulate the characters with total CRACK, I can put them in the oddest scenarios imaginable, I can torture--AHEM, maneuver actions and feelings however I see fit. Ah, the joys of humor fanfiction.

Well, without further ado, enjoy!

WARNING: Again, un-beta-ed and again, pretty RAW and AGAIN, un-endingly unapologetic. :)

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_the titans meet, greet, (and almost beat each other up)_

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-click-

"ATTENTION! STUDENTS OF KONOHA'S KUNOICHI PREPARATORY FOR GIRLS!"

"Ah, it's Tsunade-sensei!"

"DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO _NOT_ RETURN TOMORROW FOR THERE WILL BE NO CLASSES HERE!"

-cheers-

"FOR THIS BUILDING HAS BEEN SOLD…DUE TO…_UNFORSEEABLE_ CIRCUMSTANCES!"

"…Eh?"

"YOU ARE ALL BEING TRANSFERRED TO WHAT WAS FORMERLY, KONOHA'S SHINOBI ACADEMY FOR BOYS, KONOHA'S NEWLY INSTATED NINJA INSTITUTE!"

"…Hm?"

"YOU WILL BE JOINING THE STUDENTS ALREADY SITUATED THERE IN STUDY AND WILL CONTINUE THERE FOR THE REST OF THE SCHOOL YEAR!"

"…What?

"DESTRUCTION OF THE BUILDING IS SCHDULED TOMORROW, APRIL 24! THE LAND IS TO BE EXCAVATED AND A MINI MALL IS TO BE CONSTRUCTED IN ITS PLACE!"

"…Huh?"

"PLEASE NOTIFY YOUR PARENTS OF SAID CHANGES! THAT IS ALL!"

-click-

"…"

"…_EEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHH_???"

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-click-

"ATTENTION! STUDENTS OF KONOHA'S SHINOBI ACADEMY FOR BOYS!"

"It's the old pervert!"

"THE PRETTY GIRLS FROM OUR SISTER SCHOOL WILL BE COMING HERE TOMORROW AND THEY SHALL BE STAYING FOR THE REST OF THE SCHOOL YEAR! SO LOOK YOUR SHARPEST, BRING BREATH MINTS, AND DON'T FORGET YOUR PICK UP LINES, BECAUSE THIS SCHOOL'S GOING **CO-ED**, BABY! THAT IS ALL!"

-click-

"…"

-scoff-

-sigh-

"Troublesome."

"HHHHEEEEELLLLL YYYYEEEAAAAAHHHHH!"

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"I can't believe this! Tsunade-shishou is notorious for her bad gambling, yet she still risks the _school_ _building_ in a game of high-stakes poker?"

"…Poor Tsunade-sensei…"

"That's our principal for ya'!"

"Please. Like you didn't expect that from the woman who taught us how to drink. And geez, Forehead, would you look at the bright side for once? WE ARE SURROUNDED BY BOYS! How can that not make you forget Tsunade-sensei's minor transgression?"

"…I didn't say it was a bad thing, Pig! It's just…our building…"

"Sakura's got a point, Ino. We've had two years worth of good memories in that building."

"And it will be missed. Sort of. …At least the land is being put to good use!"

"…And we're all still together…"

"That's right!"

"…I guess. …At least it's cleaner than I expected a boy's school to be. I had nightmares last night of garbage in the halls and rooms that smelled like B.O."

"…Oh Sakura."

"…Ano, Sakura-chan, it'll be okay. My cousin goes here, and…um, he doesn't complain about it so…I guess…it's alright?"

"Your cousin goes here? …Oh right! Neji, huh?"

"Oooh! Hinata! We should meet up with him! Tell him to bring his friends!"

"…Ah, Ino-chan, I don't know about that. Neji-san and I…aren't too close."

"Oh come on, Hina! It would be such a waste if we didn't meet him! From what I recall from those brief times he visited while we were over, he was a _fox_—"

"Would you quiet down, Pig? People are looking at us!"

"…Uh, Sakura, I think they've _been_ looking at us."

"Yeah, Forehead. It seems like we're attracting the same kind of attention. Looks like the Ninja Institute is still ours, girls. Hm, I'm pretty sure the students wouldn't mind one of the 'Queens' being president, right?"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. You're the only one really interested in high school social hierarchy, Ino."

"Please! Like Sakura doesn't use her influence over teachers to fund museum field trips and her book club."

"Hey! Books are great! If you'd pick one up every once in a while, Pig, maybe you'd see what I mean--!"

"Like Hinata doesn't use her powers to raise money for her little animal-saving initiatives."

"…It's for a good cause…"

"Like you don't use your authority to convince your teammates to compete in every type of sports tournament known to man."

"…you got me there."

"Even if you aren't conscious to it, Ten, we relish in this power! We put that power to good use! We made our last school a better place! And seeing as how the boys here can't seem to resist my natural charms, it looks like we'll just have to rule again!"

"…"

"…Ok, fine. You have a point, Pig. We'll all probably take advantage of our status sometime in the future. For now, let's just find our lockers before the bell rings."

"…Ah, I hope they're all together…"

"They will be, I think. I'm pretty sure people would move if we asked them nicely—"

"Because of our power!"

"SIGH. Shut up, please. …This is it I think."

"…They're together…sort of…."

"Yeah, what's with this weird setup? There's one locker between each of ours…"

"…Is it just me? Or has everyone's whispers just gotten louder?"

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"Oh wow! Girls! In skirts! Heehee."

"Shut up, dobe."

"Shut up, Naruto."

"Shut up. Please."

" WHY DON'T YOU GUYS SHUT UP! Quit acting like you aren't super happy about this school becoming co-ed!"

"…we're not."

"…I get it. You're all _gay_!"

"…"

"OUCH!"

"Tch. …It's annoying. The fangirls can stalk me on school grounds now."

"…Women are so troublesome."

"Whatever. It doesn't really matter that much to me. My cousin Hinata was from the sister school, and if she's anything to go by, I wouldn't get too excited."

"What?! You have a cousin here?! Why the hell haven't you introduced us, Neji?"

"We aren't exactly on close terms. …And besides, why would I set her up with an idiot like you?"

"WHAT?"

"Would you shut _up_, dobe? God, with all the girls around us squealing and your fucking yelling, I can't concentrate."

"…The attention's even more troublesome than before."

"HEHE. Looks like our 'King' status stays the same!"

"Though our following has doubled."

"So annoying."

"Psh, get off your high horse, bastard! Don't act like you won't be using this influence to your advantage someday!"

"Hn."

"…For once, Naruto makes some semblance of sense. ("HEY!") We all use the school's glorification of us to benefit us in some way. I'm using it to run for president this year. Sasuke, you can immediately give the go or no-go on whatever school event you see fit and people will religiously follow."

"…I don't like any fucking school activity besides the tomato festival and the onigiri snack shops."

"As long he tells them it's his 'good luck food', Naruto can get any random student to cook Ramen for him during a game."

"HOHOHO! I LOVE RAMEN!"

"And because Shikamaru keeps our test scores up so high, we have those extra several minutes of break."

"…I get to sleep."

"Neji's so right! Man, I love the power!"

"…I guess. Whatever. Let's just get to our lockers."

"…Shikamaru, that was a good idea, spreading our lockers apart by one. No one usually has the gall to use the lockers between us and we always have extra space."

"…Mmm, it would've been too troublesome, too constricted to have lockers side by side."

"Yeah, Shikamaru! No one yet has dared to—"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"_What the hell_."

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Sakura stared.

Hinata blushed.

Ino squealed.

Tenten blinked.

Sasuke glared.

Naruto grinned.

Shikamaru sighed.

Neji scoffed.

_And so the titans meet…_

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"Hinata, isn't that your cousin?" "Neji, is that your cousin?" Both blondes uttered loudly and simultaneously.

Ino and Naruto sized each other up in that one instant and instantly deemed each other competition for attention.

"…yeah." "Yes." The two Hyuugas said lowly and at the same time.

Hinata quickly reverted her stare to the ground, going red in the face as Neji scoffed and observed her with cool eyes.

"Introductions then, I guess?" Sakura piped in after a quick moment of inexplicable tenseness.

Shikamaru sighed rather rudely, "…So troublesome." And the pink-haired girl responded with furrowed brows.

"Guys…let's all just get along." Tenten tried, offering a hesitant smile.

"Speak for yourself." Sasuke muttered, rolling his eyes.

There was another short, edgy pause.

"Ok, I'll start!" The blonde female exclaimed, grinning. "I'm Yamanaka Ino. Natural blonde. I like boys, pretty things, and most especially, pretty boys." She quickly looked over to Sasuke, obviously the most attractive guy in the bunch, and batted her eyelashes.

When he returned with an uninterested snort, she gave a rather scandalized gasp, before inwardly deeming him a good-looking _asshole_.

"I'm Haruno Sakura. …Naturally pink-haired. I like, um, reading books, I guess."

"Oh!" Naruto stepped up, grinning widely, "You're one of those cute nerds, aren't you, Sakura-chan?"

She twitched. _He did not just_—"How dare you call me…_Sakura-chan_?" She withheld the angry 'you damn imbecile!' for propriety's sake.

"…Ah, I'm Hyuuga Hinata. …mmm, I l-love animals…and…caring for them…"

"...Ugh, please let's just move on with this troublesome thing."

Sakura, Ino, and Tenten all glowered fiercely at Shikamaru.

"Tenten. No last name. Really. I like the outdoors and being active."

"…Big surprise." Neji mumbled, rolling his eyes, his usual politeness slipping in the hostile atmosphere.

The brunette girl turned to the white-eyed male, carefully, "…And what is that supposed to mean?"

He shrugged, eying her slightly mussed brown locks, "I guess you don't really need to brush your hair in these 'outdoors.'

She threw him a cool look, "And you are _obviously_ the expert on hair care. What kind of conditioner do you use? Pantene?"

Neji's eyes narrowed at her.

"Ah, well, the name's Uzumaki Naruto! I love Ramen!" The blonde smiled brightly.

"Well, you certainly smell like it." Ino said, grimacing.

The whiskered teen's smile quickly turned down at the corners as he growled, "What did you say?!" The teen 'hmph-ed' and gave him a flippant wave, her nose in the air.

"I'm Hyuuga Neji. I like order."

The girls waited in short silence, for him to elaborate. When he didn't, Sakura erupted in short, uncontained laughs, "_That's it_? You seriously need to get a hobby, Hyuuga-san!"

Neji shot her a very un-amused gaze.

"Uchiha Sasuke. What I like is none of your business."

The females of the foursome then exchanged looks as they each (Hinata surprisingly included) privately labeled the dark haired teen a total douche-bag.

Finally, they came to the last member of the group. And when he didn't step up to the plate in the next few minutes, Tenten urged a quiet and slightly irritated, "…Well?"

Shikamaru sighed heavily, "Nara Shikamaru. I like avoiding troublesome things. Like this."

Again, there was a short, charged silence, before each of the eight individuals turned away from each other to head for their lockers.

Sasuke absolutely seethed as the pink-haired Sakura came up to his right. She glowered with sharp green eyes in return. She also managed to switch to her right every so often to throw annoyed looks at Naruto who was incredibly eating Ramen at a time like this.

Hinata, who was on Naruto's right, buried her head into her locker, thankful for a space to hide her embarrassment. Shikamaru effectively ignored her, but wasn't quite as successful with the loud blonde at his right who wouldn't shut the hell up.

Ino found it hard to bite down the urge to hurl insults at both the boys at her sides, so her comments came out like poorly veiled slurs. Neji, at Ino's right, could only roll his eyes and attempt to disregard her. The female brunette looked quickly over the line of her best friends and the rather rude young men. She was annoyed sure, but Tenten was generally good with people and she didn't really want to start off the year with enemies.

She gave a haggard exhale before gathering up all her patience and saying, "Well, it's…nice to meet you guys. We're obviously going to be locker neighbors from now on, so let's just keep it civil, all right?"

"No." Sasuke muttered succinctly and immediately, "You four will find new lockers."

"What?!" Ino and Sakura cried out, in sync, "You can't make us, asshole! Why don't _you_ guys move, instead?!"

Naruto then piped in, angrily, "But hey, we were here first!"

"What about chivalry and ladies-first?" Tenten demanded, seething.

"I don't see any ladies here." Neji mumbled.

"WHAT?" The blonde girl screeched, furious, "You fucking jerk, do you know who we are?"

"Question is," Naruto shot back, "Do you know who _we_ are?"

Ino gave the other blonde her fiercest look, "We have power. We were the four most influential people at Kuno. Prep. And like hell, have we lost that authority coming to this shithole school!"

Hinata, though mostly non-confrontational, nodded vigorously in support for her friends.

And Sasuke replied harshly in turn, "We have control over this entire school. We've had it for two entire years. Like hell, are we going to relinquish our power to you four idiot girls."

Shikamaru, though usually uninvolved, shook his head, agreeing in his spot.

"We're _Queens_." Sakura urged.

"We're _Kings_." Neji answered.

There was one final moment of intensity where death glares were exchanged and silent threats were made before it was cut short by the ring of the starting bell.

"We'll see who reigns _supreme_ in the end."

…_And BOOM, the titans clash._

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Locker Placement!

Sasuke | Sakura | Naruto | Hinata | Shikamaru | Ino | Neji | Tenten

A/N: To be continued! ...Maybe! :)


	3. why kakashi is made of total win

**Kings and Queens  
By: asteriskjam**

A/N: Ok, sorry it took so long for me to update! Hopefully, I'll get better at it in the future. :) Anywho, just wanted to clear stuff up on one thing: school set up. The school's a _mess_. (Haha) And by that I mean, it doesn't strictly follow the Japanese or American (or Konoha) school systems. The year starts in April (like in Japan) but instead of cubbyholes they have lockers (like in America). There's only three years of senior high school (like in Japan) and the eight are all third-years, but they are not exempt from taking part in school clubs (like in America). They're going to celebrate holidays and breaks (like in Japan) but while in school, a lot of the activities are going to be reminiscent of American school activities (like in, uh, America).

And their school's called the Ninja Institute for no apparent reason except to link back to the original manga. Yeah. Go figure.

Dedicated to: my dear beloved Kakashi-sensei. (Whoever's been keeping up with the manga should know exactly why and should be joining me in my shouts of protest, 'What the FUCK kind of bullshit is that, Kishimoto?!')

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_why kakashi is made of total __**win**_

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The rivalries had been set.

Each individual's aptitudes had been clarified and it was obvious by now who was to be clashing with whom.

Haruno Sakura was to be facing off with Nara Shikamaru in a battle of smarts.

("Can anyone tell me how to find the value of a^5(a+6) + 5a^3(3a+4) + 3a(5a+2) given that a+1=6th root of 7?"

Sakura's arm shot up first (and after some prodding by Naruto) Shikamaru slowly did the same.

They exchanged looks.

Iruka smiled, calling on Sakura who said matter-of-factly, "You have to expand the expression and see if you can recognize a binomial expansion."

"Correct."

The pink-haired girl grinned victoriously at her rival among the quiet cheers of her best friends. Her smile dropped at the corners when she realized Shikamaru's hand was still raised.

The teacher called on him tentatively, "Yes Shikamaru?"

He answered succinctly, "The answer's six."

Iruka looked pleasantly surprised. "Why, yes. That's right."

"You _bastard_." Ino seethed at him amongst the joyous 'whoops' of Naruto. "She said _how_ to find the value, not find the value."

"Whatever!" The other blonde shouted across the room, "You're just jealous that Shikamaru can answer the question a lot quicker than Sakura-chan can." He gave the pink-haired girl a quasi-apologetic smile, "No offense, Sakura-chan."

"I do take offense, you idiot! I could've answered that!" She grit her teeth.

"_Sure_." Sasuke mumbled, rolling his eyes.

"Shut it, _asshole_—")

Hinata was to be challenging her cousin Neji in general likeability.

Ino and Sasuke were to be fighting amongst themselves to see who had the most social influence.

("The school election is coming up! Are there any nominations for presidential and vice presidential candidates?"

Tenten raised her hand, "I nominate Yamanaka Ino for the presidential candidacy and Hyuuga Hinata for the vice president position!"

Sakura smiled, lifting her arm up in turn, "Seconded!"

Kurenai looked pleased, "Ah! The school's first female candidates! How exciting. Anyone else?"

The whiskered teen shot his hand in the air, "Ooh! Wait! Uh, I wanna nominate Neji for the president thing and the bastard for vice president!"

The instructor knitted her brows together.

Shikamaru mumbled a quiet 'troublesome idiot' under his breath before going, "He means he will nominate Hyuuga Neji for the presidential candidacy and Uchiha Sasuke for the vice president position. Which I second."

"Ah! Very good!" She wrote their names on the board. "Ok! Anyone else?"

The room was quiet, the other students not willing to break the almost palpable tension between the Kings and the Queens.

Kurenai coughed, sweatdropping, "Alright then…")

And finally, Tenten was to be going up against Naruto in the sports department.

(The boys and girls sports were obviously separated so the two couldn't clash as often as the others. But that didn't stop them from trying to break each other's records during co-ed gym class.

"…Tenten-chan broke the school's running record!" Hinata said excitedly, as she and her friends watched the girl sprinting on the track.

"Naruto actually managed to break his old high-jump record." Neji grinned, shaking his head. "The idiot isn't human."

Anko and Gai, the gym teachers, looked on impressed.

"Ah! Look at them! Tenten-chan and Naruto-kun are glowing with the effervescence of youth!"

The younger woman nodded, "Those two do show a lot of promise for our athletics department."

They looked over to a group of three girls cheering their hearts out for Tenten and a cluster of three boys glaring down any of Naruto's competitors.

The six turned to one another, exchanging fierce looks before huffing, turning away, and proceeding to root for their friend/intimidate their companion's enemies.

Anko smirked, amused, "And those six seem to have student support _down_.")

_Game on._

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"I. am. SO. TIRED."

"God, and its only the first day."

"It's those boys. Seriously, that bugs in the locker bit? _Jerks_. How the hell did they get into our lockers anyway?"

"The lazy bastard probably."

"I bet it was the blonde idiot's idea."

"…Ah, at least we managed to reinforce our locks."

"Hinata's right. We should try looking on the bright side. At least we paid them back during lunch!"

"That's right! Where did you get that hose, Pig?"

"Forehead, Forehead. You should know by now that I've got my connections."

"…Gardening club."

"…Right."

"At least it's the last period of the day, homeroom! Finally!"

"Yeah! And those idiot boys are nowhere in sight—"

"…"

"_Crap_."

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"We're late."

"Like that really matters."

"Yeah! Kakashi-sensei's probably not going to get there till fifteen minutes after the bell rings at the very least."

"True. We really needed to change anyway."

"Those fucking girls. Where the hell do they get off _hosing_ us?"

"We should put more shit in their lockers!"

"…I'll try cracking their troublesome new locks tomorrow."

"Good."

"But hey! Look at the bright side! At least we won't be seeing those witches till tomorrow—"

"…"

"_Shit_."

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"We're all in the same homeroom?! What kind of CRUEL TRICK is this?" Naruto groaned, loudly.

"Excuse you!" Ino bit back, "We don't appreciate that kind of _obnoxiousness_ here."

"Hah." Sasuke laughed shortly, sarcasm dripping from his tone, "Like you're one to talk."

"Don't call her obnoxious, you asshole!" Sakura screeched, defensively.

"Don't cuss." Neji grumbled, running a hand through his hair, "He was just pointing out the obvious."

"Like calling Naruto's yelling obnoxious, wasn't pointing out the obvious?" Tenten input, glaring.

"…God, you women are so loud. Would you leave us alone?" Shikamaru grit, rubbing his temples as he made his way to a seat across the room.

"…Guys, we…we don't have to take this from them." Hinata said quietly, gathering all her courage and turning in her seat.

"Yeah you do!" Naruto shouted, stepping in front of the dark haired girl.

Sakura, Ino, and Tenten stepped in front of their friend, glowering fiercely at the blonde. "Don't you yell at her!!!"

Neji made his way next to the whiskered teen, "You owe us an apology. You hosed us during lunch today. What the _hell_ was that?"

"Revenge." Sakura shot back, fists tightening. "For those bugs we KNOW you put in our lockers!"

"And how do you _know_? You have proof?" Sasuke piped from his spot.

"Fine." Tenten replied succinctly, "Say it wasn't you. Then the whole hosing incident was an accident."

"What a load of BULL!" Naruto exclaimed, waving his arms around in an exaggerated manner. "You aimed at us directly—"

"What? You have _proof_?" Ino fired back, smirking viciously.

Before either side could get out the insults bubbling in their throats, the door suddenly opened, and in walked the infamous Kakashi-sensei.

"Hello. What do we have here?" He gave an amused, enigmatic smile.

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Kakashi Hatake was not teacher-type material.

Period.

He was late almost all the time (he'd even arrive later than the tardiest students on occasion, and no one knew _why_). He read smut novels during class; whipping the orange book out even when he was supposed to be enhancing his students' young and impressionable minds. And when he did actually attempt to teach on those days he felt like it, his lessons were often times cryptic, intermittently impossible, and always, always in that same uncaring monotone.

When asked _why_ Kakashi was kept on board, Jiraiya would reply with 'he is a smart man who has good taste in literature.' (Which of course, was code for 'If he didn't have this job, he wouldn't be able to purchase any more of my Icha Icha series.')

He had clearly expressed dislike for his students on day one (when Naruto had pulled that juvenile prank on him) so he certainly didn't stay for the children.

And despite what the principle thought, Kakashi, with his looks, his (well-concealed) genius, and his aptitude for stealth, could have probably landed a job, a better job elsewhere.

So why?

Why did he choose to come to Shinobi Academy every morning and spend his days baby-sitting these snot-nosed brats?

_For this._

He'd, of course, been informed of the changes to the school. He'd anticipated the name change, the obvious addition of high school girls from the sister school, the dreamy sighs and ecstatic squeals of students who'd spent almost all their lives attending single sex institutions.

But this?

The four boys who had veritable control over the school's going-ons, caught in a power struggle with the four girls from Kuno. Prep. who'd probably held similar seats of influence?

Kakashi smiled secretly underneath his facemask.

One of his (rather inane) hobbies was to people-watch.

It looked like this was actually going to turn out to be one interesting year.

"Welcome girls. I'm Kakashi-sensei and I'll be your Class A-1 homeroom teacher for the rest of the year!"

He cleared his throat, "I'd like to take this opportunity to announce a studying arrangement that I just now thought of."

The slate-haired man grinned at their expressions ranging from the confused/skeptic looks of the new girls to the horrified/glaring countenances of the boys who already knew of his penchant for assigning odd, impractical projects.

"We shall be utilizing the buddy system! Not only will this system help in your education, it will also acclimate the girls to our male environment!"

The pupils whispered amongst themselves worriedly.

"Your buddy will always be there to help you with studying, for projects, for field trips. You will also be sitting beside them for the rest of the year, so make nice!"

Each and every student adopted a look of pure, unadulterated terror.

"I will now be randomly assigning your buddies as I call roll. Please say 'here' when your name is called."

Sakura immediately raised her hand, "Wait, sensei, how is roll-call a random assignment—"

"_Hm."_ He cut in rather rudely, looking over his class list, "…Haruno Sakura is it?"

She nodded tentatively.

"Let's see…you will be paired up with Uchiha Sasuke."

"…WHAT?!"

"What the _hell_ kind of arrangement is that—"

He ignored their simultaneous objections, moving down the list with a smile.

"Hyuuga Hinata will be Uzumaki Naruto's buddy."

"Sensei, that doesn't make any sense--!"

"…Ano…!"

"Yamanaka Ino will be with Nara Shikamaru."

"NO. Kakashi-sensei, NO. You CANNOT make us do this--!"

"…So fucking _troublesome_…"

"And Tenten will be Hyuuga Neji's partner!"

"But sensei, wait…!"

"How is _this_ a random arrangement—"

The man shook his head, "All of you are _awful_ at following directions…"

"Ah, Kakashi-sensei," another random student bravely piped up when the teacher suddenly stopped short. "…What about the rest of us…?"

The teacher looked over the remaining kids, before grinning, "The rest of you can decide amongst yourselves."

"WHAT--?!"

"SENSEI, THAT IS TOTAL BULLSHIT--!"

"WHY DO THEY GET TO CHOOSE THEIR PARTNERS--!?"

"KAKASHI, YOU BASTARD—!"

"Damn it--!"

"Sensei, this isn't fair--!"

"God you people are so noisy!"

"…Mou!"

Amidst the shouts, Kakashi just kept on grinning, "Come now! The buddy system's effective immediately! Get into a seat beside your buddy!" He suddenly gave them a serious, dangerous look that made it clear his decisions were not to be trifled with, "_Now_."

As they hurried into their seats, grumbling all the while (especially the eight of them), Kakashi smiled to himself. This was exactly why he'd become a teacher.

Messing in all this high school drama business was SO damn worthwhile.

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A/N: I know some of you can't wait for the LABULABU to start, but please! Hold your horses. I need to get all this rivalry and hatred and immature pranking over with first before the LABULABU can foster. Be patient. :)

SPECIAL THANKS TO ALL MY REVIEWERS. You guys totally keep me going. (If you guys want me to update even FASTER -wink, wink-, follow Neon Genesis and the blanket's example and write me huge ass reviews! Hahaha. Kidding. Any will do. Really. :))


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